Issues

It's been a really long time since ive vented my emotions to the thin air of cyber space. Well, guess all this while I've been bottling everything up inside instead. I guess at times, there are just feelings or emotions that might not be easily conveyed through verbal nor written words.

Lately, a lot of things been bothering me. I've come to realize that I have issues. Well, the silver lining would be, by saying that, I've taken my first step to recovery by admitting to my problems. Comparatively, there's a lotof people out there who clearly have the same problem, but refuse to see nor admit it. Some of them choose to deny it entirely, some of them choose to cover it up by dwelling on other peoples problem. (oh, btw, that wud be my second problem: overly sensitive to others problems. Gosh, living up to two problems in one post, I am progressing!)

Well, back to me( and my issues), my first issue would be trust. I now have trouble giving my full trust to others. Go e were the days when I would just believe everything everyone says, be gullible and susceptible to whatever ideas and explaination that comes my way. What happened to that me? Well, its life I guess. Life happened! I've given my full trust, to so many people, wearing my heart on my sleeves, and in the end what I get was deceptions n betrayal. Even people who I held dear to my heart. To them it might not be that severe, but they do not know how much it means for me to hand over as much trust to them to begin with. By doing so, I expected them to be completely honest to me in return. But perhaps I expected too much . Once I realize that, and feel the dishonesty bursting out of the seams around the perfect picture that I've painted of them, I withdraw. And once I withdraw, that would usually be the end of our story of trust and honesty.

My second issue, would be abandonment. Yes! I have abandonment issues. Not that ive been physically abandoned or anything, it's more to neglected. Even if I see cats or dogs, or even ppl being abandoned by the streets, I would immediately be at the verge of tears. I guess that explain my constant habit of taking in strays. Sigh... I just don't want to be left behind. In fact, I'm petrified of the idea. So, at the slightest hint of such possibility, I withdraw(again). I would take myself out, channeling the emotions away, and slowly drift apart from the other party involved.

This is me. Trying to acknowledge my issues. It's the first step I'm taking in confronting them. So I would support all the support I could get.

Thank you for reading. That itself is a form of support.