Thursday, December 23, 2010

the end is near

here i am, sitting in front of the pc, sipping a warm cup of milo while browsing through my friends' blogs in my north pole office room.

most of it talks about memories, joys, achievements, heartbreak, dilemma, mostly regrets i would say. that makes me stop slurping and breathing for 0.03 seconds, and a teeny bit of cognitive process took place: What about me?

exactly, what about me? if i were to put up a post that sums up the year, if i were to blog about the 2010, what would most likely the tone and content?

hurmmmmm.... would it be joy and enthusiasm of the ending of a fruitful year and the beginning of a promising one; or would it be a melancholic one that laments the lost of another youthful year heading towards the big three 'O'? or would it be filled with the aloofness of a denial patient who refuse to admit defeat in the eyes of far more successful peers?


i dont know. but if i have to give a guess then i'll probably say all of the above.

me and my monday nights rendezvous gang(a.k.a MNR) started the year with a list of seven resolutions each. and there would be penalties for each of the resolutions that is not off the list by the end of the year. i've basically forgotten about what i put on it, except for one. and i have a strong feeling that that is probably the only one resolution that i managed to achieve this year. well, if i let this list sum up my year, then i would have to say that my year very the much sucks!!!

but come to think of it, i really dont feel that my 2010 was bad. infact, it wasnt bad at all. i've found love, i've found life, and i've found contentment.

There is a lot of things that one may want in life. a lot of goals one sets to achieve in a certain time frame. but i've never been one of those people. life is unpredictable. i've seen sadness and i've stared death in the face. eversince, i'm unable to plan for the future. because i know that no one could. the only thing we COULD do is to cherish now. to eat every piece of chocolate without worrying that we will wake up being fatter the next day. to be able to drive above the speed limit without worrying about a speed ticket that would drain our bank account at the end of the month. and most importantly, to be able to love without worrying that our hearts might be broken at the end of the day. No one lives forever, so no lover can be happily ever after. one way or another, we're bound to lose each other(or worse, loose ourselves) in the process. but to be able to be brave enough to put our hearts on a platter and present it to the person we love, that is the ultimate love and secrifice that we can ever achieve in this lifetime.

so all i have to say for this year is:

I've loved, and i've been loved. so yes, it was pretty much a good 2010, and hopefully an even better 2011 instore for all of us ;)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

If Dying is an Art?

If dying is an art
It would be but a daub of tactless paint
Splashed across a mundane canvas
Red, black and white
Nothing that screams rainbows or carousel
Images of limbs dangling loosely
Darkening clouds over vast abysses of despair
A world that drops at the blink of an eye
Where forever young stays lyrical
And inconsistency overrules promises
Where nothing is the only thing that fills you up

If dying is an art
I would give the world for you to come alive
For I have seen love withers
From crossing rainbows into streams of gutters
For I have scorned these feelings
As if I’d consumed oceans
Drowning the wrenching pain
Running away, life in my palms
Sadness overflowing through the gaps of my fingers
But retrieving might just seems all too vain of a cause

If dying is and art
That it’s one that requires utmost mastery
Every drop of blood but a colour palette
Every popping vein but just a stroke of your mighty brush
I will waver, I will fall
For an art is beautiful
And nothing speaks of more beauty than me lying

Still beside your feet