a view

another one of those not-so-good day. was feverish the whole day, felt completely worn out as life carries on itself.

'you can pull through, its a breeze.' had become a mantra that i chant to myself repeatedly at times as such. even when i loose focus of the main points of all these, and the ultimate end that awaits.

'why do you push yourself to do all these? when you know that in the end it won't make any difference?' as pessimism question the self while spinning the steering wheel.

'its not about creating differences or altering what's bound to happen. it's not! it's about making things better, making others see that things can be better before all hope is lost....'

'whatever!' pessimism sneered as i swiped another corner.

give me more time.

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was walking in Atrea when saw a familiar face sitting in a restaurant, chatting away with friends. keep on walking as uncertainty reeks. as i walked on, a voice called out to me. i turned around and got a big warm embrace, tight with the warmth that can vibrate out all the solemness in anyone.

it was her. we chatted briefly and i learnt that she's all grown up and now working hard to strive for her dreams.
'Teacher'. its a name that i haven't been called for a fairly long time. I miss it, so much.

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was driving home, after meeting up with a friend and catching up on each others lives. suddenly don't feel like returning to that empty room where coldness echoes and lonesomeness lingers.

instead of a U turn, i keep on going. drove on, through the horrendous traffic and nerve-breaking jam of an inwardly dead city.

it was almost dark when i reached the place. sky was a mellow mauve as i stare at the lights beneath, that flickered one after another.

my thoughts flew, to the grape flavoured candy that was placed on my desk yesterday. i thought i'm over that, grew out of that. but still, nightmare haunts. the helplessness unwrapped and fear consumes. i wish, i wish for a delete button.