Resuming life as a passenger

when i was young(as in kiddy young) i'm always the one who would not bicker with my siblings over who gets to seat in the front seat of my father's old ferrari. rather, i would volunteer to sit at the back, preferably by the window.

then i would roll down the window and rest my elbow on the window frame, and my chin on top of it. wind would be blowing across my face as my father 'speed' through the familiar roads. my eyes would be rolling left-right-p-down, scanning and taking in everything i could see. my sisters would be complaining that the wind is too strong and its messing their hair up, but duh... like i care?

then, as i grew up, all the cars i've ever sat in got airconditioning. naturally, i no longer have an excuse to roll down the window. i would glance at the world outside and realize that somehow, everything seems to have lost its lushes colour through the thin layer of tinted glass. i yearn to reach my hand out and touch, but am afraid of being lashed for blotching the car window with my dirty fingers.

as time goes by, i started to pay less attention to what is outside the car window. instead, i would constantly be sitting in the front seat of the car and staring straight ahead of the road, or scrutinizing every single detail of the auto's interior(or the driver's)

then, i became a driver myself, chances to look at the sceneries outside became even more scarce. slowly, i forgot how to 'see' and 'appreciate' the sceneries outside. the many many little beauty that are placed around us. i learnt to obey the rules (or rather law) of life, set by others. like: focus on the road, do not be distracted by things outside, stare straight ahead, and only ahead, glance at the rear mirror occasionally.... the more i obey and practice all these, the more i forget about the importance of stopping and seeing the things around me. the more i drive ahead, the more i loose track of the things and people that passes by beside me.

but thankfully, i got a gentle reminder a few weeks ago. as i crashed my car into the back of a lorry, and practically shattered the front part of my car, eventhough i manage to get out of the car(after they pull the door off) without a scratch. the first thought that came to my panic mind was... NO! not flashes of life or white lights, or any other things of that sort! it was "WHAT AM I GOING TO DRIVE FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS!!!" and i also didn't fail to pester the tow-truck driver with my concern, keep asking whether they can get it fixed within days instead of weeks or months.

but now, after a week or so of not driving. instead sitting on the passenger seat of my housemate's car, or the many many taxis that i've splashed my hard-earned money on, i've started to look back out the car window. even though it's still behind the windshield, but i'm beginning to notice the things that i've failed to for all this time.

the way the houses and buildings seem to fly by as people brush across you as you try to focus on the one thing that stands out the most.

the way the trees seems to be swayed by the wind, as if the cars are driving pass too fast, and the leaves would be forming patterns of different shades under the reflection of sun light.

i hate to say this, but not being able to drive hadn't sucked as much as i expected it to.

i'm now seeing the things that i might have lose sight of all these years. and i shall continue to do so, having a reunion with everything i've missed, sitting still in the passenger seat and enjoying the nice view outside.