Mr. Lonely

Watching TV alone is dull. Lazing on the couch & reading alone is boring. Sitting in a restaurant and taking your meals alone is pathetic. Working out at the gym alone is depressing. Sipping a cup of hot caramel macchiato alone in starbucks on a rainy night is pitiful.Lying alone in bed afterwards is lonesome. Waking up alone staring at the vastness of your bed is saddening. Being alone is lonely. Being alone is tough.

That is what i constantly tell myself while going through the rigmaroles of a day.

Since when did i become this creature that dreads solidarity. Since when did that boy who walks around on his own doing everything alone turn into this stranger who is constantly scared of being alone.

Is being on your own that hard? At 25, is it absolutely crutial for me to have a constant companion to share everything with, & to create new memories with?

These questions puzzle me.

Yet, i ponder over and over again over the validity of having companionship for the sake of companionship.

A friend questioned me last night: Would it be wrong to be with someone for reasons other than love?

My answer: No, it's not wrong. It's a materialistic world out there, so at time we need to be realistic. Security secures love. And if you sincerely love & care for someone, you would do everything in your power to provide them that.

But before i fell asleep, it strucks me: Would I settle for a love-less relationship? Regardless whether love comes before of after the relationship, would I still insist on it?

just questions, & more questions. Sigh, an idle mind thinks too much.