what's holding you back?

i fell asleep on the sofa at 9pm. finished a dvd and was only telling myself that my eyes needed to rest for a minute. but somehow, my entire system managed to shut down. as predicted, i grow tired more easily nowadays.

then i somehow managed to get myself into the bedroom, and slept slept and slept until now. now, i'm widely awake sitting infront of the PC with nothing to do.

i'll probably go to the kitchen, get something to eat. well, there's always that huge pack of Ruffles still lying on the floor beside the sofa, or that half bar of Chocolate in the fridge.

lately, i've been thinking. well, what's new with that? i'm always thinking aren't i? but no, it's a different sort of thinking. this time i limit my thinking. to not overthink is actually rather tiresome. more draining than overthinking.

i'm always a person who trust that when it comes to the matter of the heart, one shouldn't consider too much and just follow one's heart instead of brain. but apparently, that's not always the case.

i've learned that one tends to be exposed to the danger of heartbreaks when one does not apply cognitive processes to love. yes, believe it or not, love requires braincells.

so i guess it goes without saying that stupid people like me, would never have love then. silly old fool.

the occasional update.

gosh, haven't been updating for ages. well can't seem to think of a good excuse to justify my laziness, so gonna just go with the usuals: ran out of creative juice, internet server down, injured my typing fingers(which would be my two delicate index fingers), and last but not least, was actually living my life rather than writing about it, lol.(how i wish the last one was true)

talking about life.... mine has been rather 'occasional' lately. Define occasional? well, hurmmmm..... you know, the occasional ups and downs, the occasional smiles that flashes across my face when th very scarce occasional happiness afloatS('S' not grammatical error, but for emphasis, so scarce they need singular verb) the way too often occasional heartbreaks, disappointment, anger, revenge plotting behaviour, etc... (well, u get the idea)

oh, and some major changes are in store for me this year. it's time to stop sheer planning and plain avoidance, and to embrace them with an abundant amount of courage...