Looking for Simplicity in The Most Unlikely Places: January 2012

Today is a very sad day. A life literally slipped away from this cold world....from my trembling arms....

On my way driving back from work, fatigue, fever, and medication were practically taking over my eyes, had to try so hard to keep them opened till i get home.
This is until i saw her lying in the middle of the road, not far ahead there's a dented car bumper also lying in the middle of the road. It was impossible for me to stop right there and then, so i had to drive until the next traffic light before being able to make a U turn. Praying very hard that there is still a thread of life in her and no other car has ran over her.

when i finally see her up close, her mouth was wide opened, gasping for live. My first thought was how long has she been lying there, struggling to survive?
As i push my hands underneath her warm body, i could feel wet moisture, she was soaked with her own blood and urine.
As i was also struggling to lift her off the middle of the road, no cars stopped to help, a few even honked at me to get off the road. While placing her in the backseat of my car, i noticed that she was a mother and she was still breastfeeding, she also had a black collar around her neck.
I padded her gently on the head, telling her not to hang in there, hang in there for the sake of your puppies....

I drove at a very safe speed to ensure that my driving or sudden breaking will worsen her condition. Again i was honked by other drivers, one even overtook me, pointed his middle finger, then went out of his way to emergency break a few times in front of my car till i almost bang the back of his car. Each time worrying and looking back to check if she had fell of the seat.

Finally, i made it through the after work traffic, and parked my car at the door of the animal hospital. A male employee was moving things inside getting ready to close the clinic. He stopped me at the door. I told him what happened, but did not expect to get such respond
"It will be very expensive, will you be the one to pay for it? If not then you take her to SPCA!"

I was first stunned, then angry. i raised my voice and tried to make him understand that she won't survive the traffic all the way from Seri Kembangan to SPCA which is probably somewhere in Subang. I guess the veterinarian heard the ruckus at the door, she walked over and the man said a whole bunch of things to her in Tamil. I didn't understand a single word, but from his expression and tone, I could pretty much guess it. I looked at her and begged her to at least come to the car and take a look at her, at least see if she would have any chance to live? Luckily she did not pay much attention to her assistant and went to the car with me. she checked her pupils and pulse, then asked me to carry her inside. She was just as warm, wet and heavy in my arms as she was before. When i placed her on the metal table, the sharped coldness of metal contrasted with her warmth, but it brightens my hope that she's still pretty much warm and hanging on to life.

The Veterinarian checked her pulse and pupils again, but her face changed this time. She put both her hands over her ribs and pressed a few times, the listened to her pulse again, pressed again, listened again, pressed again, listened again.....

"She just passed away..... I'm sorry."

I couldn't remember what, but i said a whole bunch of things inbetween that few minutes. All i can remember is hearing her reassuring me that she had passed away.... she died and there was probably nothing we could have done to save her life to begin with.

The veterinarian then offered to take care of her cremation at a discounted price, which i was more than grateful to pay for, as she deserves at least a proper burial.

For the second time this week, i cried.

Anyone who can identify her or her owner, please get in touch with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't give a damn about the fucking irresponsible owner, I just wanna know what had or will happen to her puppies.