I miss u bitches

The world's been twisted around me lately. I've been goin' through shits that i've never thought i'd ever have to, well, at least not in the next 50 years or so. still, they came smacking me on the face, upright and forward. sigh.... how i miss the times when life was simpler....
the people around me(that's in a countable noun) had been having a tough time too i perhaps, since we're all dealing with this shitty thing called 'growing-up'. if that's not enough, we get 'responsibility' shafted up our anus and 'commitment' piercing out through our oral cavity(i'm using all this "technical" terms to make my blog more reader friendly, issit freakin' workin?).
nevertheless, we are all at a phase in our lives, where we have to change, and we need to do so. some changes subtle-ly, some choose to be drama queens. well, whatever way it is, it all boils down to the same word--'bloody changes' (make that two words).
not that i'm not digging it, i do. as a matter of fact i'm slowly embracing it, with my two flappy arms, and i hope soon i'll be able to with all four limbs. still, it might take some time.
for starters, i'm starting to set a many new year resolution for myself. and yes! i swear by them and the must be fulfilled before the midnight stroke of 31st december 2009!!! seriously, i'm being dead serious here. sure some of u must be thinking "yet, another one bite the dust..." But NO, i don't want to waste my life away. i don't want to wake up one day and wonder "What in the fucking hell happened to my life?!"
so, yah, i'm gonna live it. and in none other way, than my own way.

well, its been quite some time since i've last blogged, so yeah, i still have to end this with a few poetic lines.






















' Life
Sucks, but
I
Rock! '

That's all, thank you for reading ;)

If I can't ?

How can I be alive
If you are dead
How can I inhale these breaths
If you are cold, stiff without movements
How can I smile nor cry
If you are alone underneath frozen earth
How can I wake up and carry on
If it means leaving you behind

How can I be dead
If you are alive
How can I quit this beating burden
If you are still tied by the blues of the world
How can I lie resting in peace
If i know that every awakening hour is drowning you alive
How can I even look at that brightness
If it means leaving you behind

How can I still be alive
If you are dead
How can I not wish to turn around, catch glimpses of you
If you had never left me deep down inside
How can I not wake up weeping every morning
If I've never seen you in my dreams
How can I not want to leave this
If it means holding your hand again

How can I be dead
If you are still alive
How can I hover above the clouds
If I see you dragging your feet on the ground
How can I even close my eyes
If yours are open and welling, until dawn breaks
How can I not want to go back
If it means holding your hand again

Because I am dead
But you are still alive
Because I might be cold, lifeless
But in you I'll always be warm, alive
Because I want to see your every smile
But I don't want to make you cry
Because I would yearn to stay beside you
So I must live as mere memories and not in your dreams

Because I am still alive
But you are dead
Because I have to get up, live the seconds
While your arms surround me, keeping me warm
Because I have the heartbeats you left behind
And they need me to keep on living, loving
Because these eyelids have to close at night
Even though it means cease remembering and fail to see you in my dreams