Tuesday, March 8, 2011

everything

It's been way too long since i've written anything here. sometimes when time permits, i would still browse through blogs that i usually visit and try to catch up on what is happening in my friends's lives. It quite saddening actually when come to think that we are alll now so consumed by our own lives and work that we can't even make time for each other anymore. there's no longer that urge or spontaneity of meeting up and hang out just by a mere SMS or phonecall. I miss those times(not in a look-back-in-regret way, but in a positively-reminiscing-good-times kinda way).

I haven't been writing anything here mostly due to the lack of inspiration. gosh, I don't even know when or how did i managed to turn into such uninspired person. i always thought that creativity and imagination are the only innate element in a person that would not be altered by time, but now i guess i have to seriously reconsider that.

on second thought, maybe my fact still does have truth to it(to a certain extend at least). before logging into my much abandoned blogger account, i was reading this blog that i accidentally came across. the blog belongs to a student in his early twenties. there was nothing special or fanciful about his blog, even the lay-outs are as simple as simple could be. but somehow, it reminded me so much of how i used to blog. he blogs as if his blog was an actual journal, and he was putting pen to the pages of it, freely expressing random thoughts and feelings. the credulousness and starkness of his words inspired me to again start scribbling in my journal.

so i guess one never loses his inspiration, he just needs to be reminded of it from time to time.

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Feelings:

not been feeling much lately.
unless you consider exhaustion as an emotion..
been feeling so stretched by what is becoming of my work place. people who are unprofessional and lack the initiative nor capability to pull their own loads and dully perform their duties and responsibilities. End up cleaning up mess and take on unnecessary stress that are consequences of these irresponsible parties. don't even have time to fall sick anymore, even when i do fall sick i still drag my sick self to work at the risk of spreading germs around.
but i guess that's work life. you spend your days doing things you'd rather not, and you get paid at the end of the month.
i've learned to accept that. It's just that the people and situation at this place where i've spent a good three years of my life had changed so dramatically that it's no longer conducive for me to stay. it has always been the case that everytime a better offer comes along, asking me to move on, i would be reluctant to leave the students that i have worked with halfway, not to mention the ever so supportive and loving selected few colleagues. but now, all these factors should not serve as an anchor anymore.


Life:
The fact that there's nothing to write about my life says a lot.
my life had remained mundane and uneventful for the past three years.
whenever people throw questions like "How's life?" at me, i would always retort with the same answer: "Same old same old."
well, it's no wonder that i really feel like a transformation is in store for me this year, i really need to take a big leap this year, like seriously.
so i'm retaining an open mind no matter what. whatever opportunities come along.

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