Just One at a Time

I live my life one day at a time, 

I walk my path just one step at a time,

I breathe in and out but one breath at a time,

I'm grateful for life one blessing at a time.

I cherish every moment one heartbeat at a time,

I refuse to give in one silver lining at a time,

I reach up for the sky one star at a time,

I believe in fairytales just one page at a time.

I drain and dry my sadness one teardrop at a time,

I piece my poetry together just one tiny word at a time,

I hum and sing my secret anthem just one tune at a time,

I fail and learn from it one mistake at a time.

I hide and heal from it all one bruise at a time,

I close my eyes and forget but one evil glare at a time,

I picked myself back up one stumble at a time, 

I've lost then love even harder one life time at a time.

Love Forgets

Waking up

Toes shivering as fear seeps through the seams

The warmth of yesterday not in my past

Where the coldness invades as my tears freeze

In that one moment that will cease to exist

As I close my eyes and invite time to leave

The harder I remember, the more I forget

The more my heart loves, the emptier tomorrow is

Is this my every day?

Staring at a stranger I love more than myself

Running my fingers across that nameless face

How can I know not who you are

When there’s enough love here to forget the world.

Falling asleep

I pull the covers across my head

Shivering as the warmth of your hand slips away

Muffled whimpers as I tighten my grip

Petrified that you will not remember our love at sunrise

As we fall in love for another day

The harder I try the further you move away

Saying I love you instead of good night

Wish not to return you to the night

Wishing that you’ll remember me tomorrow

How can I let you forget this self that you love

When your love is the only I’ll ever remember.

My Job

Day

Plunging into sheer darkness

A night that reigns victory

Presented itself unbidden yet brazen

Miles and miles within my eyes

Covered by nothing but black

Pages and pages of ebony word

Accounting for each and every misty fallen

Anyone would have waver at the very thought

Of a night that comes and inhibits their homes for a decade

Light

Absence not felt nor seen

When the eyes gaze upon nothing

But rooms and rooms of solid dusk

Gleaming cold shivering through a century of evil

Fear overcoming every shred of warmth

Marking the end that couldn’t have come sooner

Devoured souls shrieking within dead shells

Let me vanish, evaporate in this glaring eternity

For I cease to exist in your presence

 

More Than One Way To Say Goodbye

There’s more than one way to say goodbye

Be it breaking or healing

Either taking along a beating heart

Or leaving a shattered one behind

To nurse its wound

Stitch by stitch, patch by patch

Fixating on a shadow that refuses to follow

A smile that shivers with insecurities

And a love that will just not stay

There’s more than one way to say goodbye

Be it an empty bed in the morning

Either leaving behind that familiar scent

Or giving that one short moment of joy

Just to realize that

Misunderstanding, misinterpretation

Is all that you’ve been lead to believe

A heart that wants to keep believing

Slowly weakens and losing faith

There’s more than one way to say goodbye

There’s more than one way to leave and go

There’s more than one way to loosen your grip

But there’s also many many ways

To not break my heart.

Lets Float

Lie down

Close these eyes

Deep breath in

Deep breath out

Listen to the sound of

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

Tick... Succumbing to loneliness

Tock... Drowning in silence

Lose the beat in your chest

As it gets louder

and louder

Hammering its way through your skull

Wishing you were elsewhere

Somewhere where ice-cream doesn't melt

eggs never overcooked

and coffee's always warm 

Wishing you're just that light

to be blown off and away

Fluffy seeds of a dandelion

Floating into unknown air

In search of an unknown home

Remember Not....

I was here,
sat beside you,
at this table, in your car,
inside all these memories.

Smiling, tearing, raising my voice,
how I'm remembered
by no one else but you.
Images formed by nothing but recollections
of fragments that seem surreal,
yet I'll cry when your fist clings on to
nothing but stiff clay.

Will come that day when nothing remains,
leaving no remnants,
just as light, a gentle breeze.
Just as you should forget.
Forget that I was ever here.
And the warmth of my palms,
never rubbed against yours.
Please stop remembering,
If remembering is nothing but harrowing,
I can't bear your tears.
Please not remember.
Please just forget.

Finding lost.

How long must I hold my breath

Before I’m able to find your scent again?

Sitting on a bed of dying bent

Lifeless hays fill my skin

This bag of rusty bones and dusty flesh

Blown over dried seas of reminiscence

Seeking for that only scent

Of my missing soul

How high must I climb these steps

Before I’m able to reach your hands again?

Faltering on a muddy path of sorrow

Dark rain soaks my thin veil

Slipping over and over your footsteps

Calling, hailing, gasping out that spell

That very one word that brings

Pulse to my dying heart

How far must I stare into the sky

Before I’m able to catch a glimpse of your silhouette again?

Floating in a blue painting of a starry night

Swinging from a burning star to another

Clinging onto the sharp edges

Letting pain pierce through my palms

Dripping along that green dark vein

Blood seeping out of my life

How deep must I bury myself in this cold dark earth

Before I’m able to feel your arms around me again?

Lying bare and exposed in this space underground

Wondering if life has ever even existed

Within your tight embrace

As my fingers clutches your bare shoulders

Holding ourselves into each other

With my every breath…

Still I can’t seem to find you

No matter what I do

No matter where I look

No matter how much I cry

Or how long I wait

You just ceased to exist.