"They are not of the world, just as i am not of the world."

Things has been scattering ........... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . here.......... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and.............. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . there....... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . lately.
i am getting a smattering of this here, and a smattering of that there. am not really finding the true meaning of life or anything, but at least i have something to make me crawl out of the bed in the morning(or afternoon). life's still as screwed up as it was, but i am determined to get some changes done. still, sometimes, when ur all smile and hyped up, and u've finally found the courage to get up and make a run for it. You stumble. yes, you fall and land flat on your face. that is how the reality i know works. and to be frank, i don't like it.

now the question is, what can i do about it? let me rephrase that: is there anything i can do about it? i've been thinking hard, really really hard. and still the conclusion is still the same, i can't do anything, there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. i can't foresee the unexpected, and neither can i interfere with the course of time. i can't change people's mind, and i can't make myself to be what i'm not.

so where does that leave me? lying on the wooden floor of my room, staring straight into the ceiling while my yellow curtains dance along the movements of the wind. sometimes it veils the steady white infront of me, forbidding me from seeing something that is certain. but instead, conveying the uncertainty that awaits all of us of this world. circling my
thoughts with all the possibilities that comes along with the uncertainty.

but will these possibilities lead us to happiness, lead me to happiness?

there is nothing worst, than a dying heart.