Tired.

Lethargic.

The perfect description of what I'm experiencing right now.

Had been feeling so for the past few days, weeks maybe.

Had a busy day at work today. had lunch with Ms. Chan, and both of us talk and shared a lot of things. Spending time with her makes me miss my mom less. Though i don't think i could ever bring myself to tell her that.

I shifted my seat in the office. moved to a more lively part of the office... hope my days at work would be so as well.

after work i went for tuition. throughout the one and a half hour, i was exhausted, but didn't fall asleep as usual, not even once.

then i drove through the heavy traffic jam to meet up with Christine who insisted on going for bodycombat class today. arrived just in time. hopped around like an idiot, punching into thin air for about an hour. the after, i jumped onto the treadmill, but couldnt seem to find the energy to run for long. The gym was just too packed today. cant seem to find any comfort or serenity that i usually get after a good work out.

had dinner after, at teh tarik place, had two half boiled eggs, nasi lemak with a hard boiled, kaya butter toast, & a big cup of teh tarik. hungry but didnt have much appetite.

accompanied Chris until her fren came. lay down flat on the playground, stared at the huge screen of One Utama, and the ticking digital clock beside it. had the sudden realization of time.

drove home, sang along with the songs on the stereo, thoughprobably got the lyrics all wrong.

drove into the parking lot, straightened the car before reversing into the lot. as my hand shifted the gear into reverse, head banged onto the steering wheel, foot tightly pressed on break, grasp steering wheel tightly with both hands, tears starts to flow from no where, cried and cried .... and cried for don't know how long.

head up, took two pieces of kleenex, wipe tears from face, reverse car into parking lot. got down, took bag and shoes. walked out and wait for elevator. door dings open, empty, great.

pressed 18, waited, dings open, got out. unlock door, walked inside, took off clothes, throw into laundry basket. took hot shower.

sat on bed, turned on iTunes, listened to Damien Rice, reading The Lovely Bones.