ifUcouldHEARmeNOW. . .

for the last couple of weeks, life's been really bumpy for me, n da ppl i love.

i can't say tat things are all well n ok now. but i can say this: we are all trying our best to cope, we are holding on very tight to get through this. life was never kind to us, but who are we to demand. they say life test you, if so then i haven't been able to see any sign of all this testing coming to an end. but i won't, we won't give in.

we will not just sit there and watch as life takes away every single happiness that we earn through every painful years of our lives. we were never blessed with happiness, wealth or even health. but we were blessed with a pair of working hands, hearts that can withstand turbulence, eyes that can track the slightest beauty in a pile of scrap, and spirits that can smile after every tumble. even if it takes a lifetime to heal, we will. if that is what it takes to go on.

so we are, we are trying to be okay. albeit the sleepless tearful night a wife have lying in an empty bed. albeit the constant quiet sobbing and weeping a daughter have alone under her blanket late at night. we are trying. though You do not see the us falling apart inside. although You do not sense the sadness that smothers every single word that reminds us of him. although You do not realize how difficult it is for us, for them to get up and dress, carrying on with their lives without him.

but this i hope you do realise. i have not lose faith. so please give me a reason to keep believing. believing that everything will just be alright. please.