Friday, January 16, 2009


here I am, on a saturday morning. woken up, 'refreshed' by a 'good' night sleep, sitting in front of my computer, browsing through my students blogs to make sure they've updated it before, but too tired to leave any comment yet.(maybe i'll do it tomorrow, ey procrastinate?)
sigh, this is the consequences of me 'forcing' my architectural students to keep a weekly study log in the form of a blog, now i have to read one too many blogs every week, haizzz......
anyway, its actually kind of entertaining, and a good way for me to get to know them and get their feedbacks.
hence, to set a good example, i should make updating my blog a weekly habit too!!! muahahahaha.....(dry)
so here it is! i'm gonna try and write an impromptu poem! and make it a vulgar one! hohoho.....

sheets pulled, frame moved
whisper dry, lights dimmed
still, i keep to myself
eyes locked, thoughts running wild

Monday, January 12, 2009

1000 (edited: thanks to 'Polarbear')


A thousand years
More than thousand days of longing
More than thousand nights of hollow
Incomplete i stood by myself
Waiting for a promise of uncertain realization
Holding on to words that were merely said once
As i continue to wait
Alone and alone

A thousand years
More than thousand hours of hoping
More than thousand minutes of fearing
Everything around me moves by the second
Still like a sculpture welded by time as it passes by
Benumb from the feeling that burns within me
All the more reasons
As i whisper to myself

A thousand sidereal years
A thousand frozen revolutions about the sun
Of thousand days, hours, minutes, seconds
As I picture you
The contour of your face
Your silhouette grows
In every corner of my heart
Trying to piece together the you I thought I knew
The you who's promises i held onto
And will keep holding on
For even if it takes

Another thousand years

Monday, January 5, 2009

if there is a God...

dear friends, pls watch these videos.
and please please please post them up and circulate them. we need others to know and care, because all of this, is bigger than us, so much bigger.
thank you.

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year...

i came home quite late lastnite, around 2.30a.m.
i turned on my monitor, and i saw an IM from a friend of mine.
"Have you heard the bad news?"
My guts tightened and the hair behind my neck just stood on their ends.
something really bad must have happened again, I just couldn't shake that feeling away.
so i called that friend. even though its almost 3am and she's in Singapore.
she was sleeping.
But nothing can ever prepare me for the news that i've got after doing so....
i then spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed, can't even begin to fathom why things like this must happen.
things like these, they don't just hurt you, they utterly change u for life.

I waited and waited until the sun came out, and then until more n more later until i can be sure that if he could get any sleep before dawn, then he would have gotten as much as possible. then i called him.
his voice shattered my heart. he sounded just like her a couple of months ago. life was totally drained from their tired voice, traces of tears and cries were everywhere, filled with the sense of lost and helplessness.
he said he doesn't know what to do now. his mind is completely blank, he can't think, no matter how hard he tries. when he calls my name, its like him calling for help, i know that he needs someone to tell him what to do now, but i can't. i really can't.
i told him to not worry, to let his mind be blank, at times like these, that would be a good thing. and i told him that god has his own plan(even though i am now doubtful whether there is still a God, cause if there is, why is all these bad things happening to all these good people?) his entire family is now safe, they are somewhere far away from us, but safe and sound. he sounded convinced, and i felt a slight relief.
I am very worried about him. because like me, he had always been a joker in front of others, always cracking jokes and making people laugh. but people like us, we 're actually very emotional deep down inside, we just don't want to expose it to others. we're the type of people that will appear cheerful and laugh out loud when we're actually depressed and torn apart inside...

so, God, if you are real, and you are listening, hear me know.
"Please shed some light onto the dark path you've set ahead of my beloved friend. don't let him be alone, because he'd already lost too much. give him the strength that he lack, to hold on and keep living each day the way he used to. shelter him from the preying eyes and the piercing tongue of mindless people around him. make him believe, even for a second that all the pain would eventually go away. take care of uncle and aunty, and the sisters. they were nice people and they deserve to rest in peace. for making him burry his entire family on new year's day, leaving him all alone in this world, you owe him at least that much."